Simply Whisper
by miz-lou
Summary: (Incomplete) What's it like to be a Whispered? A look at the mysterious powers of the whispered and how Chidori deals with the knowledge she posesses. A look at her battle: being a Whispered while facing the challenges of being a teenager in love.
1. The Source from Within

Disclaimer: Full Metal Panic does not belong to me...yet. I do quote the series and do not take credit for the words.  
Warning: You might not want to read if you have not yet seen the full series, just don't say I didn't warn ya ;-) Also, this is my first fanfic…fair warning...  
_"If I didn't have you, I would have been dead by now. I am here now, because you were there for me. So, please don't tell me you're all right on your own." Full Metal Panic Episode 22_

Simply Whisper  
Chapter 1: The Source from Within  
By: Miz-Lou

She brushed an almost undetectable strand of hair, matching the color of the ocean she viewed, out of her face. After enduring the strand tickling her eyelid with its presence for several minutes, she finally surrendered, adjusting and repositioning her white hat. Once again free to concentrate on the sun as it dipped languidly into the ocean, enjoying the warm sand between her toes.

He had brought her here just days ago. His favorite fishing spot... She smiled. _He is a strange one_, she thought, but felt a small twinge of pride at being the only one who had knowledge of this spot. She could take care of herself...he led a different life. One she never would be a part of. He would never have to know. She gave a nervous smile. The sunlight invariably fell down on her, assuring her of her conclusion as the waves ebbed, keeping the rhythm of the universe.

The universe...her thoughts led her more and more frequently back to the mysterious power she had. What was it to be a Whispered? She didn't feel any differently than before. She didn't feel she deserved any recognition for something she couldn't even control, hadn't known she even possessed until months ago. Something she'd had since she was born, unaware all the years of her life. Except for the little hints she had noticed - the amnesia, the violence that seemed to come so easily... the nightmares. Sighing in her confusion she cast a glance down at her sandals.

_Why am I here?_

__

'Before school resumes, I request your official presence at Melida Island, since our most recent mission altered the original plans. Cordially yours, Teletha Testarossa'

She had read and reread the petite writing before she crushed the paper in her hand, a fretful reaction. Tessa had insisted on Chidori making an official visit to the base she never got to see.  
Chidori rubbed her arm nervously at the memory. She really didn't deserve it, felt so out of place. She didn't know any of them... she was not a part of that life, his life. She should not have been there when-

A storm of foreign words flashed before her vision, descending upon her at a frightening pace. Her eyes slammed shut involuntarily as she pressed her eyelids with the palm of her hands.

It occurred more and more frequently anymore, ever since the kidnapping. The faintly sterile smell, the taste of the nutrients...the visions. She recalled the invasions: while she was at school and alone, the words would be accompanied by a voice that seemed to whisper and tease. She would race to the bathroom, slamming her back against the cool wall out of breath, fighting for control. Again in the privacy of her apartment, the few hours she had to herself, she occasionally saw the edge of her vision blur and blacken; a haunting reminder.

This time...it was coming back to her more swiftly. Visiting her again, uninvited. At first, slowly invading her senses - the shore disappeared, swallowed by a blinding light. She instinctively hugged her arms around her cold body, could see the waves pulling away from her. Replaced by that white flash of light, the geometric whirlwind calling her. Drawing her toward its center.

"**I thought I'd find you here.**"

_That voice.  
_She felt a shiver go down her arm as the faint sound reached her ear. It sounded so familiar. So taunting. She looked past her whipping hair desperate to find the source.

"Tell me!" She cried desperately against the wind deafening her. "Tell me who you are!"

No answer.

Chidori's sense of leadership took over, her resolve fortified. "I no longer fear you. I demand to know who you are! Why do you keep calling me?"

"**Come to me. Touch my hand. And you will know.**"

The sourceless voice pulsated through her mind. The same request. The same simple request every time she felt she was loosing her sanity. The same inviting request.  
The orb of light drew her closer as her body and soul rebelled. Her grip was lessening, the pain shot through her body.

"**End your suffering. Simply touch my hand and we will become one. Forever.**"

Forever. Eternity. She didn't want to! The magnetic draw of the orb coaxing her closer, forever against her will.

"I will not."

"**But you will.**"

The voice was taunting her again, returning the answer so swiftly-as if it had known what she was going to say. The invisible rays slowly invaded her clouding vision as the energy permeated the air. Her clothing disappeared, the shapes began to blur, her universe spun. She could no longer cease her thoughts to form a coherent sentence, to shout into the eternal sphere of light.

She was going to loose. After the thousands of times she had vowed not to. Her mind distracted by her tresses whipped her exposed skin, bruising and searing, with the help from the force of the vacuum.

If only she understood this power.  
What it was to be a Whispered.

Her grip was forced away suddenly and she shielded her eyes as she forced herself to look up. She felt her strength stripping away, her cry for help caught tight in her throat, her voice lost.

_I want to be strong!_ she screamed inwardly.

"**You will be strong - with me.**"

_It knew.  
_The voice and the light that owned it knew her every thought, her every emotion, her very soul. She clutched desperately to hold to something.

"Leave me alone!"

"**But I cannot, my _dear_.**" Venom behind the word. "**I have always been a part of you. You only need to recognize it. Acknowledge it. And touch me.**" The gentle invitation...

She saw a hand outstretched, the milky rays kissing it gently. Occasionally she felt she could make out the form of a body, wavering in and out of sight, as if embodying waves of heat, cloaked by the light.  
She felt so weak, longed to end these turbulent visions, the hand her anchor. The only certain thing. So harmless.

She had no reason to continue. She had failed, she felt the heavy burden on her shoulders. She could not keep up the fight. She was tired. Convinced in her thoughts, her own shaky hand went out to meet it. Weary, she felt her strength crumble. She would give in this time...she was too tired. The voice continued its taunt...approaching a low, inaudible laugh.

She watched her hand glide out amidst her wild strands of hair. The light held promise, an end.

wait--

A small voice, faint, came through the laughter. She strained to hear it. She recoiled from the hand and held her face in her own.

"If I didn't have you, I would have been dead by now."

A simple glimpse, faded by the white light radiating behind it, but she swore she saw it. She strained to hear the proverbial words as she looked up. His face flashed before her and everything froze.

"I am here now, because you were there for me. So, please don't tell me you're all right on your own."

"Come home."


	2. One of the Chosen

Awww, thank you **so** much for the reviews! They are very encouraging!  
Mela: Threats? Those aren't very becoming of you...XD I still can't believe you got me to post...XD...right now between you and school...Xcensored deaththreatsX :-P  
AngelsPrin: Guts? ...you gotta have guts? ...that wasn't in the description Mela! oO...Oh, I so need to be outta here...  
FreekStyle: No worries, I promise will explain in later chapters. :-)  
Chicklil: tsk tsk, you haven't seen the full series, have you :-D No worries, you will understand in consecutive chapters.

Disclaimer: Well...it still doesn't belong to me, but patience...I'm still working the negotiations. ;-D Again, I quote the series and do nottake credit forthe words.  
_"I'm not a burden. I'm all right on my own. Even just seconds ago, I wasn't scared at all." Full Metal Panic Episode 22_

Simply Whisper  
Chapter 2: One of the Chosen  
By: Miz-Lou

"Chidori."

Her name sounded so far away.

She recognized the voice as her heavy eyes opened...was it real? Her composure remained, but she felt shaky after her seemingly continual descent into an abyss...was it over? The fear permeated her body. Her senses were still overwhelmed by the storm and her vision was still blurry as she glanced sideways, barely making out chestnut hair...she froze when she recognized the familiar gray eyes accompanying it.

Panicked, she evened out her breath, in a fluid movement hugged her knees to her chest and did not look toward him as he approached, pretending she had been simply admiring the view the whole time. She tried to clear her throat; her voice still hoarse, she could not yet reply as she felt, rather than heard, his descent through the brush toward the beach.

"Chidori."

Sousuke arrived at the clearing, removing the last branch hindering his path with practiced precision. After watching his foot land on the sand he pulled his gaze up to fall on her profile. Her flushed cheeks caused him to pause. Captivated by them, he noticed how the depths of her brown eyes seemed to hold a clarity within them, their beauty enhanced by the sunset behind her. Only when he saw her eyes turn toward him did he realize his stillness.

"S..S..Sousuke." Mistaking her lack of voice, he dared to hope...was that nervousness he detected...was that blush for him? A single look over her tranquil composure and he simply brushed it aside. He reminded himself; she hated him  
...or did she?  
He took a seat besides her admiring the sunset. "You came back." He smiled at her.  
She could feel his eyes on her and her heart responded for a fleeting moment before they returned to the sunset. She felt her palms go sweaty, the effects of his presense shook her existance much more than the vision she had just stepped out of. Yet she knew nothing about him, and the way he lived his life...was this what it was like to be in love? _What do I say?_

Not receiving an answer, he recalled in the past how she had turned and told him she hated him and left him in silence...the same silence he received now. He had his answer.  
Sousuke straightened his posture. "Chidori, the base is worried about you." He told himself there was no other reason he was here, everyone else was worried. He was not.  
All she could see was his militaristic composure.

She briefly wondered about how long she had been on the beach when her thoughts were pulled back by his words. She felt like a burden as she heard them. She would not be his burden or anyone elses. _I'm not a burden. I'm all right on my own. Even just seconds ago, I wasn't scared at all..._

"Sorry..." she willed her tears away as her voice started to reflect her determination against being an incovenience. "I wanted toview the sunset." In keeping with her resolve, she rose to her feet much earlier than she should have. Her knees felt like jelly, but her athletic aptitude allowed her to endure the feeling without toppling back to the ground. "Let's go back to the base."  
Sousuke simply gave a curt nod as he found himself on his feet, his force of habit caused him to turn sharply to lead the way back to the base. Behind his back Chidori stiffled a giggle at his rigid formalities. _He's so strange._

Movement proved to be difficult, nearly whipped by the branches as she dodged over and under them, her legs were being rebellious, causing her to be almost desperate in an attempt to keep up with his walking pace. The stained glass sunlight though the leaf canopy of the forest caused her head to throb, her eyes still sensitive to the light. Distracted, and at her hurried pace, her foot haphazardly found a root and she viewed the ground coming to meet her quickly. She held her breath: her defense against the inevitable impact.

"Careful."

She finally drew in a shaky breath as she realized where she was.  
In his arms.  
His scent invaded her senses, dull and throbbing just moments ago. Trace hints of gunpowder laced with thegeneric smell of military issue soapwere concealed in his starched uniform._If I thought my knees felt weak before..._ She blushed as she realized she could not draw back as quickly as she would have liked to... indeed, she found that she did not have the strength to draw back at all. Her lower back warmed as his hands lingered there. His lips were so close to hers...all he needed to do was lean forward and...

"Here, eat this." Only when she was this close did Sousuke take notice of how pale her features were. Without hesitation he stood her up and reached into his pants pocket withdrawing a dehydrated grain bar. Bland, but sufficient for the situation. Just like the lack of his lips on hers..._so like Sousuke._ _Otaku! _She felt her blood start to boil.

"How are you feeling, Chidori?"

Then he had to go and be concerned about her. She couldn't stop the word before it left her mouth. "Baka." She felt the acute blush rush into her cheeks. "I...I'm fine." _I don't need anyone._ Her tone ending the conversation, Chidori pushed off his chest and took off at a quickened pace, it was all she could do to calm her wild heart, leaving Sousuke with his nutrient bar...and no alternative but to follow.

.o.o.o.o.o.

"Oh, you're back." Kurz's tone had a suggestive hint to it, and he had a gleam in his eye Chidori was sure she didn't like. "What took you two so long?"

Definitely didn't like. The blood rushed to her cheeks as she viewed Kurz elbow Sousuke jovially... too jovially.

Before Chidori could hear Sousuke's reply, or perhaps beat him with a retaliation of her own, Tessa approached her.

"Chidori-san." Tessa smiled from ear to ear. "I'm so glad you could make it. I do apologize for my delay in greeting you."

Chidori's suddenly distracted attention wasn't on Tessa but on the group of uniformed soldiers that accompanied her. They regarded her in a friendly manner, as if they had befriended her all their life. The foreign uniforms reminded her of her misplacement as she cast a slightly uncomfortable glance down at her civilian clothing.

"Ah, Kaname." Tessa giggled. "No need for formalities." She joked, watching Chidori's rigid posture begin to relax. "Everyone here knows who you are." The Captain tilted her head as she smiled, her eyes closed.

"Er...really..." Chidori's voice did nothing to hide her nervousness. She didn't belong here.

"Oh, the tour!" Tessa took Kaname's arm in a genial manner. "Sousuke," Chidori had not even noticed he had returned to her side. "You're dismissed." Sousuke saluted as Tessa proceeded to lead Chidori away. "Finally, I can properly welcome you to Melida Island!"

Chidori absolutely admired Headquarters, a fine building that stood proud and strong despite the years of chipping paintcoating itsabused existance. The equipment contained within was amazing, much more advanced than anything she had ever seen. Her briefing at 1800 hours consisted of staring at slides in the conference room regarding the rules and regulations of the secret island base and a map denoting the buildings and their general functions. After the layout, they had stopped at the grounds equipment hanger. Tessa rambled off the weapons range of each of the ground force vehicles in an passionate tone. Chidori smiled lightly. Tessa was so dedicated to her job. Who would ever guess this petite girl was a ranking Captain and high commander of a base such as this? Everyone passed her with not only a formal salute, but an air of admiration that almost glowed from everyone they encountered.

"Of course, you've already seen Mithril's West Pacific Fleet." Tessa cast an admirable glance at her baby, the de Danaan. It seemed her voice didn't stop as she continued her monologue. Chidori turned her eyes to view the slowly illuminating runway as dusk settled. They walked the soft line of lights opposite the submarine dock.  
"And this," Tessa's voice reverberated off the walls of the hanger as they stepped in, "is where we store the Arm Slaves while in port."

Chidori gazed on the familiar face of Arbalest. She was entranced by how menacing the stoic face seemed, even without an operator, simply sitting there. She could see Sousuke in the cockpit...but he didn't seem quite right there...no...something wasn't right... Her concentration was broken as she heard the shouts and a dull, seemingly methodic pounding.

"Captain." A soldier saluted and led Tessa away to discuss some repairs on an M9, leaving Chidori to explore on her own. She took an uncertain look around before her curiosity of the earlier sound of voices drew her deeper into the hanger.

"Sousuke!" She recognized Kurz's voice as it drew her nearer. Her attention fell from the voice to a basketball game, the net set up on an old M6 Bushnel. She could hear the bounce of the ball as she slowly tiptoed over to peek around the Arbalest. Sousuke, Kurz, and a group of young uniformed members of Mithril were deeply involved in the game. But what intrigued her the most was Sousuke's shirt...or lack thereof. She stood transfixed, watching the muscles ripple beneath his skin, the scars hidden as his body glistened under the spotlights of the hanger. She was amazed at how fluid his movements were. _But he's such a klutz at scho-._

Mao interrupted her thoughts, she looked on Kaname's transfixed expression with a knowing gleam. "Kaname." Chidori's startled expression immediately adapted the form of a nervous smile. "You could make it work, Kaname."

"W..wha...make what work?" Chidori's nervous grin exploded into fretful laughter. "I don't know what you are talking about..." Her eyes darted away. No matter how much as she willed it not to the red hue tinted her cheeks.

Melissa smiled. "He's just as alone as you are." She followed Chidori's gaze back to Sousuke. "You two are more alike than you think."

It was always like Mao to be straight to the point.

"Kaname!" Kurz couldn't help but take the opportunity to draw Sousuke's attention to the beautiful shadow watching him from the corner.

Chidori startled out of her staring just in time to avoid eye contact with Sousuke...and just in time to see the basketball flying toward her when she intended to turn and glare in Kurz's general direction. Her reflexes having returned to her, she caught the ball, but was not fully recovered from her earlier episode to hold her stance. She stumbled backward with the sphere, slamming less than gracefully against the cool metal of the Arbalest.

The echo originating from her head hitting the metal resounded off the walls and exploded in her mind at a magnified octave. In the darkness, a brilliant white light flashed and a rainbow of colors danced before her eyes, fading in and out as the foreign words weaved between the hues. A weight fell heavy in her chest as she attempted to raise a lead hand to her forehead, the other pressing the surface of the alloy. _Something wasn't right._ She didn't quite understand the words...they were moving much too quickly. She wanted to understand!  
Her eyes shifted quickly underneath her lids in an attempt to keep up as she pressed a palm to her metallic pillow...there was no voice...only the **words**...

"Chidori-san?" Tessa's voice broke the haze as Chidori struggled up, embarrassed. Her eyes forced open, tearing the words away before she had a chance to interpret them, take hold of them and obtain some kind of meaning. She was met with the sight of Melissa punching Kurz hard. "What?" His teasing playboy tone took over after he had seen to it that Kaname was alright. "It just looked like she wanted to play..."  
_What does he mean ... play?_  
Slowly coming to a realization of what he was implying Chidori was sure, if she had felt up to it, that she would have sent Kurz through the roof. In her current state she was reduced to merely watching as his well-practiced 'innocent' face winked toward her.  
Melissa took a menacing step forward at the action. "Pervert!" She yelled as she shook a fist. "Baka! She could have been seriously hurt!"  
"Aw, she's alright... it...joke..." Kurz' voice faded away.

"Kaname?" Tessa's light voice drew her head to the left. "Are you alright?"

A pause. "Fine." Chidori stood from the mech, steadying her feet. At Tessa's persistant stare: "I'm fine...really. Let's continue." But in reality the color of her universe was still dull. She straightened her clothing and ignored the throbbing sensation that kept time with her heartbeat, replacing it with a smile.

"It's been a long day." Tessa cast a doubtful glance at her before nodding. "The final destination for today." Chidori took an uncertain look glance back at the mecha before following the sound of Tessa's heels as they clicked on the floor to a secluded destination, the padded boots of the group following. "The continuation of the Lady Chapel and the origins of the Toybox."

The door opened with a low moan on its hinges announcing their arrival as they pushed to enter the room. Chidori's nostrils were filled with the familiar scent of chemicals, the machinery buzzing with life in a hushed tone and her insipid senses were swallowed in the shallow light of the room. "This is the latest undertaking of Mithril." Chidori took a look at the faded lighting in the room and felt the urgent presence of someone un-introduced. She turned as she heard the gentle tapping of keys and her eyes adjusted to the lack of light.

"This research is headed up by Kalinin. You've met him already." Tessa informed her while pointing into the darkness Chidori squinted desperately to see in.

"Madam Captain." She heard the final key punched as Kalinin's deep voice turned around from behind a computer in a far corner, the soft glow irradiating behind him. "We've located him."

Over what seemed a short eternity of exchanged glances at the sudden news, all eyes ultimately found their way to Chidori. She shifted apprehensively as her vision allowed her to meet the pairs of eyes, unsure of why they were looking at her. " Located... who?"

"The final Whispered. "


	3. To be Strong Enough

Finals and travel really are a killer. In addition, I did not take into account that the beta process takes a little bit longer, but the next chapter is now up.

AngelPrin: I can't tell you how much I appreciate your enthusiasm:)  
ChickLil: S'ok. I'll try'n keep'n mind that there are readers who haven't seen all of FMP ;)  
Mela: You know my finals are over now :rolls up sleeves: I can see 2 your deaththreats :P  
Ladywd:blush: Thankies much for the enthusiasm:)  
Freekstyle:giggles: So you wanna play huh? Hee hee & there's no telling, we might all be a lil Whispered ;)  
Unknown: Another victi- er, reader ;) thanks for the kind words.  
MJP: Special thanks to my first beta ever! & wish 'em lots of luck :wink: MJP gonna need it  
Shadow's Pain: Another newbie! Welcome aboard this crazy ride :sweatdrop: No worries I promise to update… just can't promise when XD

.o.o.o.o.o.  
It has come to my attention that several reviewers have described this chapter as confusing. And I am not sure if this confusion has a severe impact on the reader's understanding of the chapter.  
So, in order to make this chapter less confusing for you, please keep in mind that it is written completely from Chidori's point of view. The purpose of it is to give you a sense of what it must feel like being a Whispered and not understand the power that you have. It is meant to be confusing in order to relate to Chidori, but not so that you are completely lost as far as the plot goes... additionally, those of you who have not seen the series may be more confused than those who have. The information given in this chapter is limited since it is Chidori's point of view; as the title suggests, this is her story. Please keep in mind that she is a civilian on a secret base, there is only so much information she is privy to; and since this chapter is about her, you as the reader, know only as much as she does.  
For those of you who have not yet seen the full series, this chapter may contain what are considered spoilers since it references images from the final episodes of FMP. If you decide to keep reading (which would make me very happy :) however, I know that I do not like spoilers at all, so I would not ask anybody to read when I myself would not) I encourage you to reread the story once you have seen all of FMP.  
If you'd like more explanation on what is referenced, feel free to email me. I wouldn't mind editing this chapter and sending you a version without the imagery giving away too much ;) that way you may continue to read :) Hotmail address: mizlousmailbox  
For those who choose to read this chapter, you are completely in Kaname's shoes for this one :sweatdrop: I hope that this little note helps out a little bit more while reading -miz  
.o.o.o.o.o.

Disclaimer: Full Metal Panic doesn't belong to me, it belongs to ADV films, Gonzo Digimation and Shouji Gatou. And I can't steal :pouts: stealing is bad. There is quoting and imagery from the series, I do not take credit for the original nature of those.  
"_For some reason, I kind of understand this." Full Metal Panic Episode 7_

Simply Whisper  
Chapter 3: To be Strong Enough  
By Miz-Lou

Chidori's gaze encompassed the room as she made out the intent faces. The unfamiliar expressions began to blur and nearly swirl around her. Her body felt heavy, tired and strained. The single day's events were catching up with her.

"Final Whispered?" her own voice was small.

She felt almost… fearful?

Why? It perplexed her. What did she have to be afraid of? _No. I have to be strong._

Her eyes trained on the empty container, the eye blinders hanging to the left of it. She remembered the first time she saw the words, how they had circled around her and seemingly tossed her about. They almost physically pressed on her mind until she could take it no more. The swing of her fist to hit the glass faded into her swinging her head into a tree to come back to her senses. The cold feeling invaded her again as she felt she was falling backward in synchronization with the submarine, landing in a placid stream without a splash. 

Quickly blinking to bring herself back to reality and out of her thoughts, she reinforced her newly-found voice. "What does that have to do with me?"

She listened as the words left her mouth. They sounded harsher than she intended. She was irritated and portrayed this with extra rigidity of her posture.

She made stern eye contact with the first uniformed figure on which her eyes fell. Kalinin stood proud and central in the room as he trained his eyes on her. He couldn't help but notice her features and the wild look in her eye. "Miss Chidori, may I have a word with you?"

Chidori was taken aback. He wanted to have a conversation with her. But about what? She shook the doubts from her mind and let curiosity fuel her forward movement to follow him; all of a sudden her feet felt like lead. She proceeded to follow him through the various winding corridors, beginning to appreciate the sheer size of the secret facility.

"**So much secrecy…**" the tacit voice teased her ear in a fleeting, barely audible tone.

As they entered a secluded room with a single screen spread across the walls, Chidori hid her fear and addressed the voice. "Why…why do you want to speak with me?"

"The situation was too much for you. I offered conversation so we could leave the room, to give you a minute to recompose yourself."

She hadn't realized she had questioned the voice out loud. Chidori was not startled by an answer, but rather by the voice that delivered it. It was gentle, like that of a father. As she realized it was Kalinin who spoke, she was amazed that it sharply contrasted his rigid performance just seconds ago in front of the Captain, but comforted by that fact that it sharply contrasted the cold, shapeless voice.

She actively concentrated on returning her attention to him. "H-How did you know?" Hadn't she hid it? Caught the fear before she was able to show her weakness and replaced it with a strong front, like always. Had she been that preoccupied with the voice?

"I recognized the look in your eyes." He continued to look at the screen intently.

Chidori was confused. Kalinin hadn't turned his eyes from the screen since they had left the main room.

_My eyes_?

She realized then that he was talking about the instance before she had made eye contact with him earlier in the crowded room, when the faces began to spin around her, and not about her actions just now. The voice was confusing her. Or maybe she was just tired.

_Hallucinations are all I need right now._

Kalinin continued. "They looked very much like Sousuke's eyes when I first met him."

She stiffened visibly and caught herself mid-step backwards. _S-Sousuke?_ The answer truly caught her off-guard. She was like Sousuke? The thought did nothing to sober her as her emotions tumbled.

_Melissa smiled. "He's just as alone as you are." She followed Chidori's gaze back to Sousuke. "You two are more alike than you think." _

_…more alike than you think._

First Melissa, then Kalinin. Could everyone see it? Could everyone see through her?

…could he?

She nearly gasped as her hand instinctively rose to her heart.

She had promised herself that Sousuke would never have to know. She never thought about if he already did.

_He can't know about my feelings._

"**So you will lie?**" The voice laughed in reply. The deep, patronizing tone twisted her words.

"You are one of the Whispered." The Commander's obvious declaration cut into her internal dialogue. "There are few of them that exist in the world."

Chidori fought to forget the voice and take his words in instead.

She had been described as unique, special, a Whispered. She sighed as she reached the conclusion that those adjectives all meant the same thing; were simply another way of stating the obvious.

"I've heard all this before." She sounded defeated. "It doesn't mean anything to me." She wanted answers.

"Indeed." Kalinin clicked the screen. "I'm afraid that's all I can tell you." The tapping keys danced between his words.

Chidori began to wonder if he was taunting her. She didn't feel as strange in this room as she had elsewhere on the base. This room might hold her answers, or maybe even explain to her these visions and voices. Maybe something in this very room could explain to her her fears.

_No. It's not fear._ She lectured herself. _He brought you in here as a favor._ He never promised an explanation, as much as she longed for one. She didn't enjoy the uncertainty she felt.

Besides, there was no way Kalinin could know what she was thinking. In an effort to convince herself of that, she remembered that Kalinin was actually one of the Mithril members working on the research for the Whispered. Maybe he himself didn't quite know the answer yet.

However, he headed up the research and was probably the most qualified individual to ask; or the most qualified individual a civilian could come near enough to ask. Now she had his full attention; this opportunity may not come up again.

Chidori realized that this was her only chance for answers, but she hadn't noticed Kalinin's silenced keying; "Why am I here?" she urgently asked. "I-" he interrupted her.

"Further instructions are to get some rest for the night." His stern command replaced that paternal tone she had heard earlier. "Be sure you have your bodyguard with you."

.o.o.o.o.o.

Sousuke's shadow was outlined by the moonlight as they walked toward the barracks. He continued at a quickened pace while Chidori lagged behind a couple of steps. What had started out as a few steps behind had stretched to six or seven as they neared their destination.

Sousuke took notice. "You look tired, Chidori."

Boy, was she EVER. She was hoping that her visit to Melida Island would bring her some answers. Instead, every experience during her time here only seemed to bring more questions. She ran a hand through her hair.

"Exhausted." Chidori answered truthfully. A group of soldiers jogged past her in formation. Wherever they were going, they sure were in a hurry. She was curious as to the constant activity of the Mithril members on the island.

Why couldn't she just ask Sousuke about it? She hesitated, but finally decided that he was the next reliable source and gathered her courage. "Sousuke?"

"Yes?" He didn't turn, but continued walking at his quick pace… _like he's on a mission._

"Are you on some kind of mission or something?" Chidori joked, taking his arm as she chuckled with an almost forceful tug, an effective means of stopping him in his tracks. She wanted to ask him her question without distraction… especially since she couldn't seem to get any kind of answers today.

As his eyes came to meet hers he gave his answer in his characteristically monotone voice. "Yes."

_Did Sousuke just continue a… joke?_ Her light laughter filled the air as Sousuke watched evenly.

"S-Sousuke," she held her sides. His answer itself wasn't so funny… it was the simple fact that he had attempted to be humorous, even while everything else about him contradicted it. "I want to ask you a question. Come on, be serious."

"I am." She felt the cold wind hit her cheeks.

"Y-you have a new mission?"

A curt nod her reply, his posture remained rigid within the uniform as he scanned for uniformed shadows nearby.

Chidori's heart screamed.

Her mind flooded immediately with memories of when they were caught in the forest. He told her he would be assigned another mission; would leave her and her school. Would he leave? Just like he did when he went back to his homeland. It's true that he returned… but to return the way he did… silent. Serious. Changed. Chidori's emotions paralyzed her. That time, they had survived. She couldn't bear the thought of him not returning. He almost didn't on the de Danaan. His life was in great danger then… she was able to help then, she didn't understand or remember how exactly, but she had. Could she help now?

Trying to keep things in perspective she harshly reprimanded herself. _He doesn't need my help. Especially when I don't know what I am doing. _

The gentle hum of whispers filled her ears with the single question surfacing.

"**Or are you afraid**?"

_Afraid of what_? She snapped angrily at the voice. She was not afraid but her shaky hands told her otherwise.

No answer.

"Chidori." She blinked. "Chidori?"

She forced her eyes up and felt her clenched fists. She hadn't realized how nervous and tense she had become as the thoughts raced through her mind. She relaxed her posture allowing the circulation to return to her hands.

Broken from her concentration and feeling the anger leave her body, her mind cleared and the night's events started to make sense. Kalinin's sudden orders to rush her off, insistence that she have her bodyguard, who seemed in a hurry to get her to her barrack, and the Mithril agents rushing by.

"What is your new mission?" She chided herself as soon as the words left her mouth.

_He can't tell you._

"Classified."

Predictable.

She really had to break that bad habit of speaking before she fully thought things out.

"**Or maybe he chooses not to tell you. After all, he shouldn't tell you he has a new mission either.**"

She couldn't make out for sure if the voice had spoken or not but ignored it and trained her eyes on Sousuke.

"And I will be here?" she questioned further.

"Affirmative."

One-word answers were all she was going to get when it came to his duty… when it came to communicating with him in general. She sighed. Everything was clothed in secrecy.

_Why can't I understand anything?_ She would not allow the words to leave her mouth, but replaced them with a goodnight to Sousuke as her door closed.

"**Because you are not strong.**" The voice taunted. "**You will never be strong enough.**"

.o.o.o.o.o.

Control room lights blinked as an urgent voice crackled over the radio phased out by the incessant static.

"Sir… oppo… re… ment."

_How did I get in here?_

"Come in, Sergeant Weber." Mardukas' voice was over to the right… or was it to the left?

An explosion lit the room as various buttons began to light in alternating patterns slowly absorbed by a red glow.

_What's going on?_

A headache. A massive headache. Chidori gritted her teeth, clenching them to transfer some of the pressure as her hands acted as a vice on her head. Her body felt like it was suddenly tossed forward and she felt a sinking feeling in her chest, like she had suddenly fallen after leaving her body.

"**Will you not say anything**?" The voice taunted.

_Not say anything? What can I say?_ She struggled trying to encourage herself in the confusion of blaring sirens and flashing lights heightening her headache. _I don't understand. I don't understand anything._

The pressure was still building. _Be strong._ She chanted continually to herself as she fought for consciousness.

"**If you are strong you will speak.**"

The hissing tone dripped with venom at her forced silence. "**You are afraid,**" it scoffed.

Her eyes tore up to the screen and went wide as she felt the color leave her face. The image wasn't clear, all she could make out were blurs. She felt lost, was unsure of everything but one thing.

"**You know you can save him, yet you don't.**"

The voice would not win.

A final push. "**You will never be strong enough.**"

Her heart raced in her ears as the voice pierced through the screaming sirens; seemingly piercing through her soul.

_"**If you are strong you will speak.**"_

"F-for some reason," Her sentence was not fluid, but interrupted by her accelerated breathing as her eyes raced to decode the images on the screen, "I kind of understand-d this." Her own voice sounded foreign to her ears, but she had won against the voice.

"What is it?" Kalinin's stern voice commanded more than questioned.

Chidori's eyes lingered on the screen. "It's… It's… Sou…" Undisturbed waters resurfaced all around her, the low glow of the green pool reflecting shards of broken light off her skin. Slowly the liquid swallowed her, pulling her downward as she looked at the tinted surface and reached a hand toward the light; toward the faint vision of his face. She could make out the shadow in the light a little more clearly now, his face surrounding the form, his hand extending toward her in time with the hand she had seen before in her vision.

"Come home."

Shadows started to blur the corners of her vision as she watched her hand fall limp and the sea consumed her. A vision of shattered glass falling into darkness.

_What is it?_

Chidori suddenly sat up in her bed awakening from the nightmare. Her initial breath was sharp, followed by uneven heaves as the night air rushed to cool her heated skin not encircled by the sheets that she had twisted tightly around herself. Her skin prickled as if the shards of glass were raining down on her. She grasped her hair; her fingers trembled holding the damp tresses.

The voice didn't falter. "**Don't you see? It's just as I said before.**"

"**It's part of you.**"


	4. Tell Me What I Fear

Disclaimer: Well :sigh: I still don't own it. So Full Metal Panic still belongs to Shouji Gatou, ADV films and Gonzo Digimation. Yup, you guessed it There will be quoting and imagery from the series. I take no credit whatsoever. If I'm making money on this, I have yet to see it   
I make no profit from posting this. None.

Simply Whisper   
Chapter 4: Tell Me What I Fear  
By MizLou

Several minutes passed in the silent room and the voice had disappeared again. It seemed to have a way of coming and going whenever it wished to. Time seemed to have stopped as Chidori drew in shaky breaths between clenched teeth while slowly tilting her head toward the morning rays of light filtering through dusty blinds and scattering across the barren floor.

"It was a nightmare." She gently rocked herself back and forth supporting her head in her hands. "Only a nightmare."

Another nightmare. Tears stung the corners of her eyes and she hastily swiped them away before they could fall. She glanced at her watch. She had to pull herself together. Sousuke would be at her barracks at 8 to get her that morning, which left her with only about an hour to recompose and make herself presentable.

She moved stiffly from the bed and drew her feet back up swiftly after feeling the cool floor come in contact with her fevered skin. The sharp contrast moved like a wave through her whole body, causing her to shudder. Chidori raised the back of her hand to feel her forehead while she tried to downplay the occurrence with another practiced excuse. Perhaps she was coming down with a cold this time. Maybe it would all pass after a couple of minutes… besides she had never been much of a morning person anyway.

A few minutes passed before she attempted to continue on with her day; she swung her legs over the side of the bed, her feet came into contact with the cement floor. The crude texture caught her attention as she stood balancing off the wall and caused Chidori to wonder. Who can life like this? She looked around at the frivolous conditions. The room enclosed by bland walls, white with no pictures, no curtains on the windows and crude furniture that did nothing more than frugally serve its purpose casting a shadow on the floor. This is how Sousuke lives? Her curiosity wandered as she took in the details. Even the blankets held taut and scratched at her skin.

Pushing them aside she found her way to the single-person bathroom. She twisted the hot water on and felt it melt her back to life as she evened out her body temperature. The sheets of water massaged her body, washing away the tightness still possessing her. The dull scent of the soap hung in the room mingling with the steam as she exited the shower. The fragrance reminded her of Sousuke… her thoughts lingered, remembering his scent on the trail from the beach as she fell in his arms. She could almost feel the comfort from his phantom arms around her in her daydream and her lips began to remind her of how she had almost longed for his kiss.

Longed? Cerulean hair swayed as she shook her head. "Really Chidori." She spoke to her flushed reflection in the mirror. "You're being such a school girl." 

Interrupted by rapping on the door, she glanced at the her watch discarded on the sink and saw that it was not yet 8 but she had spent much more time in the bathroom than she had intended to. A widespread blush painted her features. The very one she was thinking about, the very one who was responsible for making her this late, was on the other side of her door.

And he was early.

The thought jolted her out of her daydreaming. "Um," items toppled in the bathroom, "just a minute."  
Don't sound so flustered, she scolded. As she moved quickly, her hair would still be wet. It's not like Sousuke hasn't seen you in wet hair… or in a towel before.

She didn't know if it was the sudden adrenaline rush or the fact that she hadn't had a full night's rest, but any time previous that thought would have upset her, frightened her and caused her to react out of anger. But she didn't feel upset this time…

While pondering the thought Chidori twisted her long hair in a towel and dressed promptly; continually catching things she knocked over with her elbows in the diminutive bathroom. She shook her hair within the towel and ran a brush through it as she rushed to the door. Inhaling a deep breath she pulled it open shyly and was surprised when she was met with deep purple eyes instead of light gray ones.

"Good morning Kaname." Melissa greeted while Chidori pulled open the door. After a slight delay, Chidori moved to the side to let her in. Melissa carried a noticeable limp as she entered the quarters and took a seat in one of the chairs while the brittle wood stressed and moaned rebelling.

"Good morning." Chidori returned, embarrassed by her hair, still wet and clinging to her arms. "I-I was expecting Sousuke at 8." She ventured to say. "Is everything alright?"

Melissa smiled. "Everything is fine. Sousuke won't be able to meet you as planned, I came in his stead." Chidori turned to her dresser and kneeled by her suitcase listening. "He had a meeting to attend this morning."

"For his new mission?" Chidori haphazardly continued Melissa's sentence as she dug through her belongings.

A raised eyebrow. "How is it you knew he had a new mission?" The tone was not accusatory, only curious.

Chidori immediately felt alarmed. She didn't want to get Sousuke in trouble. It's too late for that; I shouldn't have said anything. Chidori continually looked away from the Sargeant Major retrieved her personals bag from her luggage and moved toward the bathroom to finish drying her hair.   
"Sousuke told me." She tried to make her tone casual as she slipped from Melissa's view. Pull yourself together.

Once she was hidden from Chidori's view Melissa didn't try to stop the smile that crept on her face. Sousuke knew it was against regulations to tell a civilian about a new mission. She knew him like he was her own brother and, unlike Kurz, Sousuke was hardly one to breach standard protocol.

Melissa nearly chuckled aloud. It seemed Miss Chidori was special in more ways than one.

.o.o.o.o.

A shadow passed through the Mithril emblem cast on the white screen pulled down covering the entire west wall when a soldier passed by to take his seat in the front row. The projector whirred in the hot room filled with the low mumbling of soldiers. A butterfly shadow puppet suddenly appeared on the screen.

"Sousuke," Kurz's buoyant tone filled the room as he flexed his hands, making the winged creature fly. "Guess what it is."

Sousuke turned his attention from his now cold cup of coffee toward his fair-haired comrade, never glancing at the screen. "Mao is late this morning." 

Kurz fell back in his seat at the statement. "Come on Sousuke. Have a little fun, man."

"This is serious." Sousuke leveled his eyes on the screen. "We have a mission." 

Kurz paused in his gaze, his features owned by concern. "Sousuke," he lazily hung his elbow off the back of his chair and kicked his feet up on the table. "You've always been serious, but ever since your last mission you've become even more serious." Kurz folded his hands behind his head. "If that's possible." 

Sousuke stared into the dark liquid silent.

Kurz dropped his flamboyant attitude and squinted his eyes studying Sousuke's face unaware of Kalinin entering the room. The grey-haired Commander's gaze fell over the rows of chairs as he set his stack of manila folders down.

"Good morning." He always tried to ensure an upbeat tone; high moral was essential for any successful mission. Taking up his pointer and clicking the slides on the screen, no time was wasted as the briefing commenced.

"We've located the final Whispered." There were a couple of inaudible gasps from those members who had not yet heard the news and the color shifted slightly on Sousuke's face.

"Mithril has composed a consolidated lists of Whispers. The final individual on the list, we've recently found, is in the most immediate danger. There have been no attempts of kidnapping the target that we know of yet. However, the location and background on the individual is very limited and not yet complete or confirmed. Information on the subject is being collected daily and as quickly as possible. The only thing we known right now is that this Whispered has been targeted. Who the kidnappers are, their motives and when they might make their move is unknown."

"Lotta help that is." Kurz's attitude began to match Sousuke's.

Various slides flashed on the screen as Sousuke watched intensely with empty eyes, the expression on his face stoic. Kurz cast a furrowed glance over at his ally before returning his eyes to the screen.

Kalinin continued in a monotone voice as he neared the end of his speech. "All members of Mithril are to be on high alert and ready to be called at any time for this assignment." Kalinin looked around the room. "It is not standard Mithril practice to be on call, but under the circumstances of the most recent mission, we now have a better understanding of the abilities of the Whispered - they can be very dangerous in the wrong hands." The grip on Sousuke's cup tightened. "We will have to be ready at any moment."

The screen behind Kalinin went black and eyes blinked as the lights came back on in the conference room. "Any questions will be taken at this time."

When the questions had passed uniforms filtered out of the room.

"Sir," Sousuke glanced around after saluting.

"Sergeant?" 

"What…" there was slight hesitation in his voice. "What about Chidori sir? I am her bodyguard, and to be sent on a mission while she is here at a foreign base-"

"Sergeant," the Commander interrupted, "I am sure that Major Mao's missing presence today has not gone unnoticed by you."

At Sousuke's nod Kalinin continued. "Due to her injuries she is on mandatory sick leave and will not be permitted involvement during this mission. She is with Kaname right now and will act as her bodyguard should something happen."

Sousuke wanted to protest. To have someone injured protecting a Whispered did not sound like a good idea. He felt a hand on his shoulder before he got a word out and raised his eyes from the ground. "Chidori is safe; there is another Whispered that needs our help right now. We need you and the Arbalest on the battlefield Sergeant."

The mercenary shifted his eyes away. He couldn't help but feel he had complicated this mission already - Melissa sustained injuries while protecting him and now… now what if something where to happen to Chidori because of that?

"Sergeant." Kalinin dropped his paternal tone. "That's an order."

.o.o.o.o.

A tuft of silver hair twisted nervously between slim fingers.

Denied. Tapping. Denied. Beeping. Denied.

Tessa slammed her hand on the keyboard in frustration.

"These entry codes." She murmured agitated.

Mardukas stood to her left solid in formation. The narrow eyes behind the glasses looked down at the small red screen attached to her chair.

"Perhaps you should take a break Madam Captain."

Tessa looked up to Mardukas. "The lock on this system is extensive. I have to find a way around it before we can obtain anymore information on the new Whispered." 

Her fingers moved at a lightening pace trying again.

"But you've been working on this for hours Madam."

Wide eyes full of anxiety immediately returned to him. "And every hour I can't break this there is someone in increasing danger." 

Mardukas didn't hesitate. He took her hand from the keyboard. "I will take it over from here."

She moved aside astonished, watching Mardukas sit in her chair.

"You're of no use if you're tired; these hours are enough to tell you that."

"I've never been of use on land." The anger boiled in Tessa, her voice reaching an almost shrill pitch. She turned sharply and exited the office.

.o.o.o.o.o.

Chidori tried to listen politely as Melissa spoke. The raven-haired soldier picked at her plate of food while Chidori sat with a hand propped under her elbow at a table much too big for just the two of them. Uniforms moved through the mess hall buzzing to life with the low drone of voices. No matter how hard she tried though, the morning hour, her lack of sleep and the topic of discussion at her table just wasn't enough to keep her from staring off in another direction. 

Melissa looked up from her plate. "You're not eating, Chidori."

"Hm?" Melissa watched as she broke from her daydreaming. "Oh… I'm sorry, I was just…"

Melissa chuckled after a moment's pause. "The food isn't the best. You give it a little bit of time and you get used to it."

Chidori wrinkled her nose at the traces of what was considered food in front of her. "It is pretty nasty, isn't it?"

"A soldier's rations. Just wait until you try MREs." Melissa winked.

"You mean there is food worse than this?" Chidori joked back, a light smile on her features even though she didn't quite understand what Melissa was talking about. Both laughed before returning to their plates.

"You've been rather distracted this morning Kaname."

Chidori looked up from her plate quickly. "Well… I do feel horribly out of place here."

"That's understandable." Melissa comforted. "I remember how I felt the first time I joined as a member of Mithril and came to this base. It was all so foreign to me, I didn't know anybody." She looked around the room at her fellow comrades. After her discharge from the Marines Mithril had been a rough sort of blessing to Melissa. "A discharge is not something that other soldiers take kindly to, no matter what the circumstances."

"Yes," Chidori nodded with a bit of relief at a glimpse of understanding. "But I am not a member of Mithril."

"You've been in worse situations than this. I don't think that is the only thing distracting you." 

Chidori involuntarily felt vulnerable. Was Melissa referring to Sousuke again? A lot of her thoughts had been on Sousuke lately and that unnerved her slightly. And things were starting to get even more confusing since the voice had decided to show up again.

If she was completely honest with herself, her thoughts had been on Sousuke nearly consistently since they had met, whether they were positive or negative. He had truly turned her life upside-down. She had spent so much time denying her feelings for him that no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, she was beginning to come to a realization of just how much he occupied her thoughts. Her thoughts, her visions… even her nightmares. And her tired eyes hadn't escaped Melissa's observation. "You look tired."

Chidori was hearing that a lot lately.

"I-I had a nightmare last night." The words surprised even herself, as it was not something she had intended to share.

And it was an answer that Melissa hadn't expected. The Major answered her cell phone, taking the conversation in private, before they both cleared off their trays and took a walk through a local scenic area next to some tennis courts. After a moment of silence between the two Melissa inquired further, "What was it about?"

Chidori described the dream. The veteran soldier walked cautiously along the path with a conscious effort not to over-nurse her injury. She was quite interested in the nature of Chidori's nightmare and listened intently.

"I mean," Chidori finished, "I kind of understand it… Sousuke had just told me that he had a new mission…" She was sure to leave the voice out of it. All she needed was Melissa thinking she was crazy or schizophrenic. She couldn't possibly understand.

Mao chuckled lightly. "And I'm sure that Sousuke let you know about his new mission gracefully."

Chidori blushed. "I thought he was joking." Or, perhaps I hoped he was joking.

Mao smiled understanding. "And what was your first reaction?"

Fear. Chidori felt her posture stiffen.

"If you are strong you will speak."

The hissing tone dripped with venom at her forced silence. "You are afraid," it scoffed. 

The voice had known… What is it that I fear?

Melissa questioned further, "Do you remember when I was brought in on a stretcher?"

Chidori nodded clearly remembering how frightened she was when Mao was wheeled on the de Danaan after the battle with Gauron. She was even more frightened by how Sousuke had come in afterward, slumped posture and dull eyes. He obviously cared about Mao and what had happened to her. He cared about all his fellow comrades… but he had lost something.

Mao circled around in front of Chidori. "I'm going to ask you something you have to answer for me truthfully." They were the only two on the path, the morning dew still remained on the trees and the sunlight at that morning hour promised a hot day. "How would you feel if it were Sousuke on that stretcher instead of me?"

Purple eyes stared intently into hers, as if they had understood and could see through her. Chidori's emotions began to tumble again. An eternity seemed to pass as she filed through them.

She had finally admitted it to herself. She did like him, but promised that things would be easier if she didn't tell him. Sousuke was so different from anyone she had ever met. She didn't know anything about him. Yet… here she was… living the same life as him… beginning to understand what it might be like to live in his world. Her reasons for not telling him her feelings were no longer starting to hold true.

She then turned her thoughts to the injured Mao still in front of her. The way Sousuke had returned from the fight, broken and angry... She sighed, he might as well had been the one on that stretcher.

"Well," Chidori chose her words carefully, "then he'd be here continuing to guard me."

.o.o.o.o.o. 

Tessa slammed the door to her quarters and tugged at the elastic holding her braid, tears running freely down her face. She made her way to the mirror before falling over her heels.

"So Mardukas finally got you to leave, huh?"

Tessa lifted her head to find Kurz leaning in the corner, arms crossed. There was no smile on his face, or joking to his tone of voice at all. He walked over to help the frail form up. Tessa straightened her uniform embarrassed and smoothed her freed hair to her head.

"Things are getting way too serious around here." Kurz handed her a towel. "Change into your bathing suit, I'll meet you outside."

And with that the door clicked shut.

.o.o.o.o.o.

Sousuke reloaded his gun before raising to the target with a steady arm. He evened out his breathing, concentrated on the bird calls before releasing a deep sigh as he pulled the trigger. The bullet flew and hit outside the outermost ring of the target.

Frustrated he reloaded the gun hastily. Determined to get it right he pulled the gun up, arm not quite perpendicular to his body and pulled the trigger. This time the bullet completely missed the hay target.

His stoic face gave nothing away as he automatically went through the motions. Reloading he cocked the gun, a shaky thumb on the hammer and squeezed the trigger when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. The gun went off simultaneously, hitting the bullseye.

"Excuse me, sir." A red-headed boy yelled.

Sousuke removed the earplug headband, returned the salute and took the paper from his hand. 

Safety glasses fell to the ground as Sousuke ran past the boy.


	5. It's Part of You

Disclaimer: Not mine :pout: cuz mah husband said so. I'd just like to rebut with a) B-b-but, I'm obsessed! b) rebut sounds funny and c) I'm obsessed!  
Copyright still does not belong to me.  
_"This is supposed to be a contest, not a war!" Full Metal Panic Episode 14_

Simply Whisper  
Chapter 5: It's Part of You  
By: Miz-Lou

Melissa circled around to a bench and took a light seat inviting Chidori to sit beside her. The sat and spoke a little while longer. From the looks of it, Chidori was starting to react more comfortably to her questions about Sousuke. _This is very encouraging indeed_, Melissa thought ending with a slight chuckle. _She didn't come right out and admit her feelings, she's deflecting. But I remember what it was like to be her age._

Chidori brought a loosely closed fist up to laugh and Melissa enjoyed the look of happiness on the young girl's face. It had been a while since Chidori had been happy, this was an uncertain and dangerous world for someone so blessed - or cursed, with such an unchosen gift.

Two shadows materialized in the distance and Chidori's attention was drawn by them.

"M-Melissa?" She continued after twisting her fingers in her lap keeping her eyes on the shadows in the distance. "Do you know anything about the new mission. You know, that you could tell me?"

A smile unseen. "We can't move until we know more. For right now, just promise you won't worry."

There was a polite smile. "I know that's very hard for you with the nightmares, but I will let you know as soon as anything happens. You have my word."

Melissa saw the anxiety melt away from Chidori's face and felt relieved.

"Thank you."

Kurz and Tessa were heading down the path toward them and Melissa winked over at Chidori. "Now, what do you suppose he's up to?"

"Could be _anything_." She countered and they stood. "But I wonder how he got Tessa all caught up in it!"

Kurz meandered up like it was no big deal and waved hello to the ladies. "How are the soldiers treating you Miss Chidori? Not any better than I am, right?"

A scowl met his jovial wink. Sousuke ran up on the path out of breath with the paper fisted tightly in his hand and Kurz didn't miss a minute spinning on a heel to greet him. "False alarm Sousuke!"

"Weber!" Mao shouted at him, "You set this up!"

"That's right, sis." He pointed to the beach with a volleyball net set up, complete with inflated ball. "Captain and me against Sousuke and Kaname! Mind being our referee Sgt. Major Missy Ma'am?"

Mao elbowed him hard as she went by in reply. Sousuke finally spoke up after recovering his breath rather quickly from the jog and he was not happy with being tricked. "I refuse to go along with your mishap after tricking me with thi-"

Kurz broke in, "You have to play - or are you going to abandon your mission operative against the Captain and myself?"

Sousuke did not snap into rigid formation as Kurz thought he would. "Who are you and what did you do with Sousuke?"

Kurz was suddenly on the spot and was trying to think up another way to get his solemn comrade to play when the plastic sphere flew at Sousuke.

"Come on Sousuke!" Chidori was just finishing up kicking her shoes off. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

He smiled toward Chidori and then tossed a quick scowl over to Kurz to make sure he had gotten the message.

"I, I can sit out and watch you and Kurz play!" Tessa chimed in at the possibility of sitting next to Sousuke if he happened to watch instead of heading back to the firing range. The chances were small, but not as small as they would have been in her mind had she seen his smile to Chidori. This would keep Chidori and Sousuke from playing together on the same team and she could have the Sergeant all to herself!

Kurz interjected, "This is your break Captain, I told you, this isn't your issue to solve."

"I accept." Sousuke tossed the beach ball back to Chidori and Tessa nearly visibly slumped in his presense.

Kurz gave out a cheer at the success. "Perfect!"

"Issue to solve...?" Chidori looked at Tessa with an air of concern. _What does that mean?_

A whistle blew followed by, "Let the games begin!"

"Man, sis, you're really getting into this!"

.o.o.o.o.o.

An intense game ensured, along with intense laughter! The scene would have fooled the common eyes for it truely spoke of teenage normalcy and nothing like a private beach game of volleyball on a hidden advanced base. The sand crunched under their toes, jokes and shouts of victory filled the air driven by the occasional whistle from the official referee.

And through the game, Sousuke and Chidori both took notice to how well they worked together. Sousuke setting the move up perfectly and Chidori hammering it for the win. Chidori especially took note of his fluid motions again. Nothing like the akward fear-induced bumblings that happened at school, he was really quite talented and did very well at sports! Chidori didn't have any problems reading his moves and in her turn moving to match them. They just... flowed together.

Kurz found himself covering all corners of his side of the net. Tessa wasn't quick enough to cover her half, but when the ball did come within her reach she _was_ able to get it over the net now. The ball was coming back down, returning in a lofty slow motion pace and it was just far enough he could make it! But Kurz' target was curves of a different kind. It would look like an accident if he timed it right! The thought excited him. Kurz charged for the kill and found himself snapping to attention.

"KURZ WEBER!"

Aside from dropping the formal address, if Tessa had known it she would middle-named him. The shrill whistle pitched through the air followed by the clipboard flying and smacking Kurz in the head.

"Penalty!" Mao announced retrieving the clipboard next to Kurz now on the ground. "And you were doing so well at behaving too."

Kurz gave a sheepish lopsided smile accompanied by his swirling eyes. He'd never been confronted in front of Tessa before. The thoughts of such actions' reciprocated punishment started to flood his mind before he was interrupted by-

"The penalty."

He felt a pressure on his wrists. "You have to play with your hands behind your back!"

Sousuke saw Chidori stifle a laugh from the corner of his eye.

"But how am I supposed to!?" Melissa stood him up and shoved him to his side of the court.

She smirked. "You've always been so quick on your feet. You'll think of a way."

Another... interesting... round started. Kurz bouncing the ball off of his head in hopes that the Captain would get to it in time. She did fairly well too! There were even times when he'd try to turn around and use his bound hands as a last attempt effort of returning the serve.

It was fairly entertaining to the other players, but served frustrating to Tessa who was starting to frazzle apart under the pressure. Paradoxically, as this was a safegaurd for her! Time nearly froze as the ball crossed to her side of the net. Kurz lunged and it bounced off his back after he grounded his body throwing sand up. Tessa watched with wide, frightened eyes and hesitated before following the ball high into the sky knowing she was the only hope, even when she was overpowered by the shine of the sun behind the volleyball she continued to rush up to meet it.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETCHA!" escaped from her frail form.

The war cry froze her in embarrasment midway down and the ball clunked her on the head after she landed on the sand. Kurz, Chidori, Sousuke and Melissa were stunned by the poor excuse show of power and Tessa stammered returning to her feet.

"I-I-I-I-I you-it was just-don't tell anybody-I DIDN'T MEAN TOO!"

Chidori was the first to start laughing. It was such a lame shrill she couldn't help it. Kurz winked at the Captain while smiling. "Whatever gets you through the day, Tessa."

Sousuke retrieved the ball for it had rolled a fair distance back toward the net from Tessa and motioned to restarting the match. He didn't see the humor in any of it. A cry like that would have given her away to the enemy in an instant - a mercy begging for deat-

-WHACK-

_When had Chidori taken the ball?_ Sousuke's mind froze. "What was that for!?"

She smirked bouncing the ball repeatedly upward off her palm. "Don't think I don't know what you were thinking. This is supposed to be a contest, not a war! This is a game, not a survival test!"

Sousuke winced mentally. _She doesn't know me._

Meanwhile, Chidori set up the next return shot by lofting the ball high into the air. Sousuke felt the rush of power behind him as he rushed toward the net. He lept high into the air and powered the ball over the net, ramming it right into the form of Tessa ending the game.

Before the Captain hit the ground she felt Sousuke's arms around her. Frail fingers came up to hold her throbbing head while the tears fountained immediately and streamed down her face. Tessa sobbed loudly and continually twisted a fist against an eye in an infantile fashion.

It had been a long, tiring day for her.

"I'd like to request permission to apologize Ma'am!" Sousuke shouted holding her stiffly out from him.

Tessa, caught in a fitful daze, simply wallowed in his arms cuddling up to him. Kurz removed his tight wrist bindings with casual effort and transfered the now limp Captain to his chest. He carried her off, trailed by an injured Mao limping behind.

When Kurz was sure Tessa was fully asleep he whispered over to Melissa. "I was beginning to wonder how we'd get those two alone together with the Captain there. Guess it took care of itself."

Melissa smiled over at him. "It was going to get a little difficult there at the end."

"You played along perfectly, sis! I was sure Chidori would know something was up when we showed up on the scene." He gave a smile of admiration to his superior officer guessing that was why she had earned the status she had. Smarts were definitely her thing. "Mission Mayhem Complete!"

Mao winked at him. Her view went from the sleep Tessa to the sky, "Please don't mess this up Sousuke."

"Well, sis, there comes a time when you have to let them go and hope your raised them righ-"

-WHACK-

"Uruz 6, out."

.o.o.o.o.o.

_Alone?_ She peeked over at him to find he was looking at her too. Returning her glimpse to the shore quickly she found herself walking the crystalline reflection, slowly trailing a pointed toe through the sand before walking again. A nervous hand shakily ran through her tresses.

Sousuke followed her and caught up with her so that he was beside her walking along the shoreline.

"Are you following me again?" A swift tone light on her lips. A soft smile curved them.

He nodded just slightly clearing his thoughts. "I won't be able to for long."

The lapping waves clung their way up the shore and brushed slightly against Chidori's ankle. The cool waters enveloped her foot and spread up her being. The tugging at her heart returned with his words. She noticed her palms had gone sweaty and she just barely shook within the core of her being.

**Does that scare you?**

_Not in front of Sousuke!_ Chidori's mind screamed. _He'll think I'm mad if you start talking to me now!_

Holding her thoughts and concerns inside, the silence comfortably hung between them until Sousuke spoke. The outward calm irradiated from the form beside him. Her headache imploded and began to build in pressure.

"Chidori." She turned her eyes to him. "I'm worried."

Another wave touched her and the resurge gurgling of waters filled her ears.

**He's worried about you, don't you see?**

Chidori felt the voice leave when the wave recessed. It was almost a physical sensation, one that made her feel that she had left her body and all that remained what the hollow shell. The presence drained her soul... or maybe it focused it?

"Mao is injured. She's supposed to gaurd you while I leave, but..." The pause seemed foreign to him and a strong lumping sensation centered in his throat. "What if something were to happen to you? ... It would be all my fault."

A concerned face looked down at their feet and then back up to his eyes. The expression on her face had changed, Sousuke thought. It looked wise, calm and understanding. It felt comforting.

"You can't do the work of four people, Sousuke." She saw Sousuke's fist tighten hard just in the corner of her vision, yet he trained his eyes the other way. Chidori let her eyes fall on the trailing veins began to extrude and her eyebrows furrowed. "... Why?"

Innocence stormed his features as Sousuke turned and looked up at her. There was curiosity and confusion in that expression and Chidori thought carefully. Lacing her fingers behind her back she closed her eyes while the two of them walked in time with one another. "Why do you put so much of the world on your shoulders?" _So much of my world on your shoulders?_

Glittering ocean reached out her to again. The dampened sand embedded her footprints, cleansed by the ancient waters.

**Don't you see? It's a part of you.**

_Not again!_

Sousuke was right there in front of her the entire time and while the surroundings were blurring and swirling a mesh of rainbowed color he stood clear and strong through it. Nothing dampened the image of him, even while Chidori felt the forces at work tormenting her soul. It was all so confusing and difficult to understand! Static images burst into vibrate light and back again. The island, the ocean, the sky all fused into one funneled landscape framing the man who had come to stand before her at this instant in time.

His fist was still tightly constricted next to his side. His jaw was still locked with anger such that Chidori swore she could see his throbbing vein pulsating the taunt skin. Gently, gently she reached out a hand welcoming the warmth that began to ripple from the contact between her hand and his arm. Sliding down she memorized the contours with soft fingertips in the brief interaction, she raised her eyes to meet his. The peace owned her. She felt his phantom arms around her.

Soft angelic voices surfaced, carried on the wind and filled her ears. She wondered if Sousuke could hear them too for while they were soft, they were growing in pitch. Chidori looked around, first at Sousuke's calm form, the waters right behind him and then her eyes finally fell on the sunset all the while the voice continued.

**'How would you feel if it were Sousuke on that stretcher?' **the voice penetrated the noise around her and ran her thoughts across her mind reading them off slowly.

Fear. Death. Frozen. Torture. **Part of you would die.**  
**And to wonder. **The word held loath and scorching.** What he would do if something were to happen to _you_.**

Right as her vision fell on the sun the rays burst from the central sphere, twisting and clouding her judgement, the blazing ribbons whipped and seared her legs, as if binding tightly her ankles and pulling her downward toward the ground. Blinding pure light fanned horizontally out from the extended ribbons, swallowing reality and vaccuuming the oceans up until the large mouting wall of ominous blue water surged and lurched before rushing around them, deafening her with the sounds of a thousand crashing waves. They reached for her and enveloped her, Chidori felt her body stiffen imobilized by the invisible hands. Her throat burned for the air that lie just above the water surface above her.

**Probably nothing.** The twisted voice rasped. **Just like you.**

Silent lightening cracked across her vision, a glimpse of Sousuke.

A devoid soldier. His image broke her heart in two. He lay. He lay fallen in battle. The color drained from Chidori's face and she clung toward the image. A single tear suspended through the air in front of her, crystalling and sharding the image from view.

Darkness.

_Please!_ Her heart beat violently in her ears. A hysterical pitch frantic in her mind loosened from her throat burning with hoarseness.

_Please no, Sousuke!_


	6. Save Me from Myself

Disclaimer: While I am obsessed with the powers of the Whispered, obsession does not ownership... in 54 of the 50 United States. That shall be the first thing to go when I rule the world -strikes wide cheesy grin-  
_"I'm glad to have met you, Sousuke. You're a really great guy." Full Metal Panic Episode 24_

Simply Whisper  
Chapter 6: Save Me from Myself  
By: Miz-Lou

Darkness.

_Please!_ Her heart beat violently in her ears. A hysterical pitch frantic in her mind loosened from her throat burning with hoarseness.

_Please no, Sousuke!_

o.o.o.o.o.

"You can not leave me by myself." Chidori clutched her own shoulders against the pressured invisible shackles on her wrists. "I... I can't do this without you."

The words left her broken, shaking, her voice faltering to carry any volume.

_Come home._

She heard the words pull her out of her state of turmoil and reached a hand out to Sousuke, a desparate invitation to save him. Those words had saved her, surely they could save him to!

"Come home!" She nearly screamed against the void.

The image of Sousuke's vacant body materialized into the figure standing in front of her just moments ago on the beach. Chidori timidly placed her hand on his forearm as if relishing the gift of his life back in front of her, he grabbed her hand and she felt the reality of it - but instead of Chidori pulling him to her confirming the truth while pulling him to safety, he in fact pulled her to him. No longer a whisper of a shadow in her Whispered world, he had stepped into it and now held her close in his arms.

The cold sweat she had felt watching his image on the ground just a minute ago fled her body with his warmness so close. Chidori felt him stroking her hair ever so softly, a rigid but well-meaning intention to comfort her as best the soldier could. She smiled against Sousuke's shoulder she had found herself having come to rest her head on, and although she did not remember when that had happened it felt so comfortable. Enough to indulge in the comfort she had suddenly found in his arms without a hint of akwardness. It was a welcome feeling knowing he was alive, that the vision was a lie in front of her. And while it took a lie, she had finally discovered the power she had in telling him the truth.

It made sense now. It _was_ part of her. He was part of her. I love him.

Why couldn't the voice just have told her all along?  
There was no forest, no giving of one's life, no threats. There were just two people. In love.

_**If you are strong, you will speak.**_

_I'm glad to have met you, Sousuke._

Suddenly her earlier conversation with Mao made sense. She knew fully what it meant to be strong.

Coarsened fingers softly cupped her chin, she found herself gently led to look into his eyes. Sousuke was saying something and it looked as if he were examing her, his fingers moved up to her temples and swept under her eye. But she couldn't make out his words - whether her feelings were overriding her thought process to hear, or the turmoil she had felt deep inside her from the invading visions, or the reality of the fact that she could loose him were responsible she did not know. And if any of them were responsible for her intentions to let him know her feelings she didn't pay much attention to it. She had always shared herself with no one, her thoughts her feelings were truely her own. She made herself alone in this way.

_You're a really great guy Sousuke._

She didn't have to scream the words, simply whisper the words to him. But slight hesitation pulled her back.

_But I don't even know you._  
"Then... get to know me." The words were gentle and full of understanding, he knew what she meant completely.

She was ready.

The ocean lapped at her feet admist the hovering silver clouds on the horizon. She embraced the image of the wicked blue saturations whirling into thin streams of coolness beneath naked feet. The air bubbles flew to the surface of the liquid fabric, misting her heated skin exposed to the elements.

Chidori's eyes absorbed the azure reflection and frail long fingers pulled the threads up from the body of water. Her expert hands smoothed shavings from the forming ribbons and began to weave them interlocking with one another. The touching surfaces melding into a glittering meshwork around her slender waist and the shards exploded hanging loosely off her form. A slender train pooled behind her and the newly born Whisper took her first step onto the warm golden beach.

The most brilliant marine blue dress hugged slender curves and elongated sleeves ringed around her middle finger. The fabric hung mesmerizing on the wind gracefully behind her, billowing her presense in a brilliant dance of faint hinting rainbows.

Wisdom eminated from her form as she approached Sousuke. She again placed a hand on his forearm, sliding it down his arm cautious to an illusion before her... walking slim fingers across his palm intertwining their fingers. Chidori leaned in, ever so slightly. She pushed a single foot off mosaic ground to better match his height and found his lips with her own. The action was rushed and anxious at first, and as soon as she felt the softness against her mouth she pulled away just as quickly so that they were a breath apart before a fleeting hesitation, then kissed him assuredly inhaling deeply with relief and desire. His heart beat quickly against her hand resting on his chest, serving as her anchor to balance the weakness of her legs. His hands had moved from her hair to hold firmly at her waist.

Sousuke did not pull away, surprised, as she had thought he would. While he looked wild-eyed and unsure of what to do, he had come to relax in the feeling slowly melting, lightly allowing himself to touch her face. It was amazing how much he allowed himself these denied actions... allowed her to gently suckle his bottom lip. He tried to continue the kiss in an innocent emergent fashion. It felt so strange and he felt so inept.

They gently pulled apart from one another, standing softly in each other's love. Sousuke watched her light eyes flutter softly and a small smile curve her lips.

"Baka."

This time the word was light and this time, this time there was love behind the light word. She watched Sousuke smile. But the aftermath of a Whispered episode had never been kind to her and they were becoming more and more intense as of late. Chidori felt the effects coming down on her faster than she could stabilize herself.

"Sousuke, I don't..." She tried to tell him she wasn't feeling well when he felt her suddenly go limp in his arms.

The color drained immediately from Sousuke's face, "Chidori?"

Leading her gently to the ground he scrambled on the sand murmuring through clenched teeth both to her and himself in a low, deathly urgent tone. "Chidori, no no no no. Please. Come on! No, no."

He could see she was reacting still as if she were physically struggling and checked her vitals right away, a finger would twitch indicating life but not enough to indicate a seizure. It almost looked like shock, yet was indicative of what many of the soldiers experienced after a life altering event such as war. Not shell shock but antagonized post-tramatic stress disorder... But what was antagonizing it? Himself?

_This doesn't make sense!_ his mind searched; as much military combat training he had had, the signs and symptoms were contradictory to one another. Sousuke could not figure out what was going on with her enough to know what to do for her.

o.o.o.o.o.

"She thinks I'm nosey and a snoop."

"Wow! That doesn't sound like Tessa! Unless you really ticked her off... seriously, were those her exact words?" Mao snickered slurping slowly at her beer.

Kurz lengthened his eyes in a devious fashion. "That's what I read in her diary."

-- "WHAT!?" The masculine glass slammed against the bar and Mao smacked him with the emptied vessel. "You read her personal diary!?"

The half-bruised blonde looked up at her, "She hides it in such an obvious place."

"Heh... you want to see an obvious place?" Mao's eye twitched ever so slightly. "On your feet, soldier."

A slight crowd had started to gather outside the Mess Hall located adjacent to the flightline. Mao and Kurz had come outside after a carrier boy had run to get the instructed materials from a very fiesty Melissa Mao.

"Do it Weber."

"You can NOT be serious!"

Raven eyes flashed, "Don't push me."

Kurz clenched the sheet in his hand murmering something about burning in Hell in a voice just low enough as not to fully enrage the ex-Marine. He spread the sheet out and looked over at her surveying the rather large crowd now gathering.

"Snipers never were good a close-range combat." He heard two guys high-five one another in a jeering tone.

"Watch me." Kurz lay down on the far end of the sheet and took the end in both hands keeping the sheet straightened the length of his body. Rolling on the ground he wrapped himself inside the sheet.

Mao stomped the ground with a hardened weathered boot alongside her demand. "Start over. The song."

Kurz obediantly unrolled himself and started over.

"I'm a-"

"LOUDER SERGEANT!"

"I'M A BEAN BURRITO, THE KIND YOU LIKE TO EAT-O!"

Waves of laughter issued from the body and hands pointed at that spectical on the ground. Mao bit a lit satisfied.

The crowd went back to duty when Tessa scolded the soldiers for playing fun and games, completely unaware of the reason being to protect her integrity. Mao and Weber were instructed to come to her quarters that afternoon for reprimand.

Kurz watched her walk away for a long time and Mao smacked him. "Ugh, don't you learn? Get over it pervert!"

"Heh! Wasn't worth getting in trouble was it?" Kurz rubbed the back of his head soothingly.

"Totally!" Mao laughed at Kurz, "You act like I haven't been in trouble before or something."

They continued their banter, until they were interrupted by Sousuke carrying a feeble Chidori in his arms. Sousuke was heaving for breath, unable to speak. For the first time their comrade looks like he was at wits end, scared as a child would be of an oncoming thunderstorm.

"What the...?" Kurz managed at the site.

Mao's eyes went wide. "Sousuke, what's going on?"

"I don't know." They both could see he was physically distracted and uncharacteristically able to keep his cool. The wild hatred in his eyes was all too clear. "Help her! Please," his voice cracked.

.o.o.o.o.o.

Kalinin moved around the table, administering another shot to the girl on the table.

Sousuke sat a shell of a man, after completing his pacing around the room. There were so many thoughts, feelings, emotions swimming inside him. So many unanswered feelings, he didn't understand what had happened. Had he compromised her health? Surely this was his fault, he had done something wrong.

_"What happened Sousuke?" Kurz had asked while they were alone in the hallway allowing Kalinin to work on Chidori._

_"I... I kissed her." His jaw locked stiff. "I allowed myself to kiss her and this happened."_

_Kurz pressed his eyebrows together, "You didn't do anything wrong Sousuke."_

_"What do you know?" Accusing eyes swung met him, "None of you understand."_

At first Chidori had rushed into his arms as if weak, but he trained himself remembering she had hugged him before in a rushed fashion after he visited her in the hospital room. Perhaps this was the same as that time. She really likes to do that, he remembered thinking. Taking advantage of the closeness he pressed a hand against her hair and tried to place a hand on her back to measure her heartbeat just to be sure. He was just checking her vitals as she looked rather pale and sick. When they separated he continued his body scan, checking her eyes and continuing with more urgency when she didn't pull away, hesitate or insist everything was alright in her usual fashion. He checked her temperature and had just swept a tear away from under her eye when she was suddenly leaning in and kissing him.  
What _had_ happened? What was going on? And why didn't he try to fight it?

Their conversation and Sousuke's thoughts had ended heated and abruptly when Kalinin motioned them to come back into the room.

Kalinin had warned that her condition was dangerous. She had mounting levels of plasma infiltration, rapid heartrate and he had never been up against something like this before making things even more dangerous. The disposition Sousuke held scared even the Veteraned Soldier, but he had no kind words to boost moral this time. The subject of the Whispered was still too new, too unstudied due to ethical issues and his ability to save the girl was faint.

Several hours dragged on. Tessa stopped to visit Chidori and said in a light voice to Kalinin, "At least she isn't convulsing and seems to have a calm peace come over her body now that the drugs had come to work after several administrations. That's very good."

"Yes ma'am." Kalinin appreciated the encouraging words.

Tessa looked sternly at him, "We can not put it off much longer, I'm afraid."

The severe instability of the situation made it extremely difficult to conduct the resonance with an endangered Whispered, and even though Kalinin had asked her not to resonate with Chidori for that simple fact Tessa had tried anyway. And Tessa felt strained to report to him in private she had and had been unsuccessful. She was unable to even resonate with the girl.

Sousuke refused to leave her side. Even after Kalinin encouraged him to leave just to take a shower the boy would not budge. When Sousuke spoke to her and held her hand she would weakly squeeze it back. Her heartrate would flutter when he stroked her hair. Brushing her forehead with his thumb he thought it a dream when she finally opened her eyes. Even though it had only been hours it seemed like days.

"Chidori?" He questioned the vision before his eyes. "Chidori?"

Her eyes looked glassed over and stared as if looking far off before they closed again. Kalinin nearly physically saw a part of Sousuke die.

Tumbling visions of the girl he had saved in the arctic tundra _...that was the same look,_ Sousuke feared.

"You may not want to see this." Kalinin warned him.

Unwilling to be driven off by a single statement, "What are you going to do?"

Chidori was moved to the large glass encasement and laid down within the metallic bed. The machine hummed loudly to life, glowing lights flickered iridescent, dangerously to life. Sousuke looked cautiously around the room, concentrating most of his energy on Chidori while the bed righted itself up on air powered hinges and the bar begin moving up and down the length of the body bed as if scanning her form.

"What is this?" Sousuke's anger began to boil inside him. Kalinin had been careful to watch his reaction. He looked increasingly like he was being backed into a corner but was doing his best to physically restrain himself. Kalinin's silence angered him. "What kind of experiment is this!?"

There were very few times Sousuke had felt like he was on the wrong side of the battle, stranded and betrayed by his own comrades but this was the first time he had felt so with Mithril. "Kalinin, what are you doing to her!?"

"I can't be completely certain," he admitted honestly at last. "But this is the last option that I have, Sousuke."

"You're experimenting on her!?" His body language exuded the action of lunging for him, "First unexplainable technology and now this!? What are you doing with equiptment like the enemy? Who the Hell's side are you on!"

"Do not let your feelings cloud your thinking, Sergeant. I am not your enemy." Kalinin returned in a strong voice not to be trifled with.

Deep tension penetrated the room, interrupted by an ear-splitting scream.

"CHIDORI!" Sousuke gritted his teeth. Not wasting a second he attacked the glass with the butt of his gun. When the glass wouldn't give he shot at the power cord for it. Kalinin worked frantically at the keys and was able to kill the power before Sousuke was successful. The glass was frozen in position encasing her.

"NO!" Chidori hugged her shoulders and fell into an infantile position. "Leave me alone! Let go of me! Please!"

Sousuke worked frantically at the glass. Kalinin had not taken measures against this and ran into the hallway to get a fire extinguisher to join Sousuke in cracking the glass.

"Get away from me!" Wild hands pounded against the encasing frame. "Never! I'll never!"

"Be careful of injuring her," Kalinin warned. After much heated labor the two men broke the glass, the raining shards scratching her skin with slender trails of blood.

She fell into Sousuke's arms before hitting the ground and he ripped the blinders off of her eyes. Sousuke watched the streams of green swirling within her eyes leave in a feathered fashion from deep inside her in iris, searching her frantically with his own and holding her face in his hands. Why couldn't he understand any of this?

Murmuring, tears filled her eyes immediately and streamed down her cheeks and along his hands, "You... saved me. Again."

Arms went around his waist and she pressed her face hard into his chest, nearly knocking him over on the ground.

"Don't leave me!" Sousuke's arms protectively went around her pulling her close. Her shaking and strained voice concerned him.

He hushed her and stared menacingly up at Kalinin, "Never."


	7. It is a Problem

Disclaimer: Not mine. See, because if it were I'd have found a much better way of exacting Sousuke's feelings to the surface in a way that he could understand . I do hope that went over alright.  
_"It's not a problem." Full Metal Panic Various Episodes_

Simply Whisper  
Chapter 7: It **is** a problem  
By: Miz-Lou

"I guess... she must have had another episode." Kurz looked deep into the amber liquid as if it were speaking to him. Mao looked over at him surprised.

"Episode?"

The noise of the submarine social room was enough not to cause the Sergeant Major excess anxiety at the mention of the word. The way Chidori had looked was...

Kurz nodded breaking eye contact with his crystalline date. "She had one once, in front of me."

Mao leaned in close truncating each word, "What are you talking about?"

"Back in Khanka, she started just... speaking aloud. First it was muffled and almost foreign, then I understood every word - but... there is just no way she could have. She knew all of our weaknesses sis, _Mithril's_ weaknesses. She could never pilot a mech but she knew every way of bringing one down. There's no easy way to say it but, hasn't it been strange that I've never questioned our mission to guard her since then?"

Melissa allowed herself to blink and sit back again.

"That girl." Kurz shook his head looking at the countertop. "She's dangerous."

This topic, however, heightened adrenaline. Mao narrowed her eyes, twisted at a hardened nail before deciding on a cigarette. Heading outside to light the aroma therapy to calm her nerves the blonde took her cue and followed her outside. Noting the limp was recovering nicely, it wouldn't be too long before Mao would be fully recovered. The thought made him smile.

"Looks like that experience really shook you." Mao stared with her head down between parted knees before passing the cigarette over to Kurz. He looked at the dim ember in the nightfall.

_Unreal_. That was the only way to describe it. "Like something straight out of science fiction."

"Wow." The raven haired soldier smothered the flame against the inside of her toughened boot. "Could you imagine what it must have been like for Sousuke?"

Kurz shook his head in an automatic and half-attempted matter, as his thoughts were on something else. "She saved him," Mao already knew. "And sis, he feels like he owes her his life. He already doesn't know what to do with those feelings, but for him to fall in love with her of all people."

Mao smiled, "You of all people should know, you can't help who you fall in love with."

Kurz didn't so much as wince at the truth of the statement. "I feel really bad for him."

Leaning back against the moaning aluminum siding of the munitions shed she stared up at the night sky creeping in. "It probably doesn't help..."

"What?"

"That he's under disciplinary action right now."

o.o.o.o.o

Sousuke felt the harsh crack of the words and chose not to react. Kalinin narrowed piercing eyes.

"It's not a problem." Sousuke spoke the words into the phone as he was told he would be restricted from seeing the 'Whispered Subject' the next two weeks.

_She has a name_, Sousuke snarled inwardly.

Handing the receiver back to Kalinin at dismissal he watched without hearing the conversation. Back turned to the junior soldier Kalinin took the orders from HQ after assessment of the former day's events.

No stranger to disciplinary action, Sousuke had never been on the receiving end of the actual progression. He had only heard stories of the protocol, which made him wonder on the reasoning for his being in Kalinin's office to explore this new adventure in the first place.

He always followed orders with the utmost precision. That was his job. He did the best he could with what he was given. Taught and learned never to question orders. But she seemed to remove that inhibitory sequence from his thought process. How far had he come from Helmajistan, to fall this far?

The receiver marked the end of the conversation. Turning about on a heel in a habitual about-face Kalinin faced the one he had taken under his wing several years ago. He knew the boy in front of him, but knew not where his actions came from as of late.

Assessing the perfect pruning of the uniform in front of him, and the weapon it clothed, Kalinin circled several times not saying a word.

o.o.o.o.o

Much in the same fashion Chidori circled her bookshelf, eyeing the binder in a mix of ardent betrayal, mistrust and incredulous anxiety of how to even start the request of utmost importance bestowed upon her.

Kalinin had handed her the journal and asked her to describe her Whispered events as best she could. It was pertinent she not leave out a single detail. The weight of the success of the mission lie on her.

The wording was original, but, the tone and, indeed, innate foreign nature of the words themselves made her break out in a cold sweat. Did he even know what he was asking of her?

She didn't want to experience them, much less relive them in writing what had happened long after the fact. What if that triggered another one in and of itself? And honestly, how much could she write when she could hardly remember her name afterwards.

Tugging forcefully at the binding, Chidori slammed the book on the table as if mimicking the action of taking down a foe and hastily snatched up the pen on the desk. Bringing a foot up to plant it on the top of the chair she hugged her knee.

_If I don't know I'm doing, then I have to help those who do_, Chidori reasoned experiencing a self-loathing she'd never felt before. Pressing the ink to paper she scratched out the recounters in words.

_There was one time when I was looking at the carpet in a local restaurant_...

o.o.o.o.o

"... Questioning the drive and motives of your allies is best left to your own free time." Kalinin finished up his winded lecture on the audacity of shooting Mithril equipment with intent to destroy, yelling at a commanding officer and revealing Mithril as the Benedict Arnold of a mole.

"Deployment on the next mission is not your option." Kalinin surrendered the words to a room full of silent turmoil. The young Sergeant's face resisted wincing at the words while the Russian native towered over. "You'll do well to come to terms with it."

For a long time Sousuke sat unmoving, but allowed his teeth grit under a stone mouth. An hour seemed to have passed before he issued the words. "Yes, sir." Kalinin, not quite satisfied with his own actions or the answer itself, gave the impression that he was heading toward the exit. "But sir, you should know. It _is_ a problem."

"Sagara," the paternal tone had come back. "I don't know what has been going on with you, Soldier." And the tone was quickly replaced by the informal reference. Kalinin took a couple scratches at an imaginary itch on his forehead. The large calloused hand sat poised with a thumb against a temple, the edge of the palm resting along the middle of the sweat beaded brow and the fingers slowly pulling at the massaged skin.

Sousuke sat immobilized. The silence filtered into the room once again. When Kalinin had rescued him years ago he had discovered it was the boy's nature to simply watch those around him, he never spoke a word that wasn't necessary. Like his life was limited, so was his words. They were precious to him.

All the wiser, Kalinin retreated. The door clicked shut echoing freedom.

A stale freedom at best. Sousuke grabbed at his hair and fisted against his forehead. After all, it was words like that that warranted disciplinary action.

o.o.o.o.o

Kurz wandered around a little bit, picking at a crack with the toe of his boot and philosophized why they required steel-toed boots anyway. The little room exuded all that was Sergeant Serious. Not a thing was out of place, not an extra thing resided in the barracks room.

It had been a couple of hours and the soldier hadn't returned - still he persisted. Sousuke being Articled had to be hard on him. If they weren't careful Kurz had a feeling Mithil was going to have a real problem on their hands. _Then again, maybe they finally scared him away._

For lack of a better word, hard wasn't enough to describe it when you are taken in by one of the highest ranking officials in the West Pacific Fleet. Kurz always thought that, aside from Sousuke's native nature of militaristic perfection, the young boy had a lot of burden on his soldiers to live up to the image of Kalinin. This would certainly be a strike against him. And then, to act in a way that would only make him hate the machine he would have to harmonize with on top of that...

These thoughts fueled Kurz out of his comfortable position. He made his way to the hanger where he found the dark-haired boy sitting on the foot of his mecha.

"I thought I'd find you here." Kurz approached nearly visibly cautious and crawled up the fifteen foot incline to take a seat beside him. The vacant look wavered nearly a split second at the comfort of someone, anyone caring for his whereabouts and reflected in the depths of his steel eyes before extinguishing. The blonde sat in respectful silence with him- understandingly, uncomfortable - as if it were the first time in Kurz' life to sit quiet and civilized. The aura around Sousuke made Kurz feel uncomfortable.

A twitch, a movement, anything! Kurz waited for a cue that he could start talking. A futile wish. Readjusting himself he surveyed that this seat wasn't nearly as comfortable as the one in the barracks he had just left. Pining for the comfort he left, Kurz sighed and lowered his voice, "How are you doing, man?"

The silence replied, filling the hanger with forbearance.

But urgency continued the conversation, if only one-sided. "Sousuke, the last time we talked... you need to talk about it."

Muscles stiffened. A depressed voice, "I'd rather not talk about it."

Kurz waved a hand through the hair sideways after a decent silence, "It's natural to have feelings for a woman."

"You've proven that." A kind of sarcastic hint tinted the words further highlighting Sousuke's desire not to talk.

But the blonde returned the volley, "I'm not talking about me here. I'm talking about you. Those things you are going through are not disobeying orders, they're not jeopardizing your mission and they're not wrong, Sousuke. You didn't do anything that anybody else in love wouldn't have done."

"This is NOT me! I'm a professional acting like an amateur, hurting people in the process because I can't comprehend anything on the battlefield but I can comprehend things out in a field." The hatred melted away to fear. The last sentence had ended abruptly like a train wreck, as if something were on his mind. And distracting him. The last words Kurz had said...

_In love?_ Playing with the foreign idea he mulled it over in his head, what he had seen in media, movies and even read were a very limited exposure to the concept. And he finally admitted in his internal dialogue that it scared him.

Kurz offered to answer any questions Sousuke might have, adding that this conversation was confidential.

"I... I have no idea what love is. How can you be so sure that I am experiencing it?" It was innocent. But still sounded like a response to a medical diagnosis.

Kurz nearly busted out with, 'Are you kidding man!?' alongside a jovial backslap but straightened his jaw.

"Do you feel a torture that no insurgents have ever put on you, and never would be able to, when she is in danger?"

Sousuke searched his emotions, "I feel called to duty-"

"That's not what I'm saying, bro. I'm talking aside from Mithril and its responsibilities. Strictly emotions - what is going on inside of you."

Feebly, "Yes."

"When she rushes to you to hold you after you've been in danger, do you feel weak?"

"How do you mean?"

"Like you've got food poisoning," Kurz summed well-aware of the young man's exposure to such conditions.

"If you're talking it's confined to the stomach then not particularly."

Kurz almost sighed, which was sure to be followed by a self-induced head slap. Sousuke continued, "Because my knees seem to be affected too."

A smile almost blew his serious behavior at the words. "That's it! That's love!"

Sousuke shook his head still not understanding. An insurmountable amount of courage filled Kurz, he would make Sousuke understand.

"Look. Your life before Kaname Chidori, can you remember it?"

"Well."

"You've been a soldier since you were born, right?"

"Affirmative."

"That's it. It's love when she makes you want to throw out your oath as a soldier and take a new one."

Something suddenly snapped in his mind and a drooped expression was replaced with one of awe.

"Even... if I don't comprehend what that new oath is?" Sousuke tentatively offered up.

"Yup. In fact, that's the very basis of love." He chuckled only after he finished saying it and nearly rolled his eyes continuing, "You'll find it changes quite frequently too. Daily almost."

"Inconsistency..." Sousuke seemed on to something and Kurz watched the thoughts march on in his comrade's head. Turmoil again replaced his features and Kurz read his mind.

"Your kiss did not do that to her Sousuke. And if you were to kiss her again, she will not end up in a coma." His audience's features relaxed a little. "I never told you this... about what happened to her..."

o.o.o.o.o

Mithril Headquarters

Sydney, Australia

"Sir. You're needed on the line, sir."

Heavy laid medals clanked languidly, "Mithril HQ, General Voda speaking. How may I help you sir/ma'am?"

"Is everything ready?"

Lord Mallory's authority over the Mithril Governing body through the years had taught him to be straight to the point, time was always an issue and of utmost importance. "Yes sir, ready to send the fleet at your command."

"Do it."

o.o.o.o.o

Still on shaky legs, as if a horse that had just been birthed, Sousuke felt a cold sweat start to trickle at the base of his neck. He listened to Kurz' encounter with Chidori before she had directed the moves on the battlefield successful against Venom, he listened to the way she was acting, analyzed it against her common behavior pattern and still fell short of fully processing all that Kurz was telling him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. And I'm sorry you have to know." Kurz tied his over shirt around his waist before stretching a bit.

Still there was one point of intense illogic behavior he wouldn't let pass, "She slammed her head into a tree?"

"Yes," Kurz chewed on his lip a bit, "it was almost as if she were going crazy. I mean, like she was being beat up but she was the one doing it to herself! Some invisible something, man. I- I don't know any other way of explaining it."

Sirens wailed throughout the base, jolting the two into action.

"Sousuke!" Kurz called sideways over his shoulder to his comrade, "you have to tell Angel."

"What?" Sousuke stopped dead in his tracks.

"Look man, we're going into battle - you have to tell Kaname how you feel."

It was important, but not that important. "No-" the word was clipped as he was experiencing intense anxiety and confusion. This battle that wasn't his to fight lay before him with that cursed Arbalest his mecha and now Kurz was bringing this other one on. He felt it bubbling in him, it was a lot for one man to handle.

"You have to!"

"No-"

"Now."

"I can't!" Sousuke yelled, all sense of control lost. "I can't, alright!? How? How am I supposed to tell her? How do I tell her I can't breathe when she saves me - especially from myself? Just drop by. Tell her I never forgot her notebook on the de Danaan, that I keep it just to have something that reminds me of her around when I'm ordered to the bottom of the depths of the ocean- how I'm, I'm supposed to be a soldier. That I **am** a soldier, I _never_ fulfill my duties inconsistently- but since her that's all I _ever_ do? How do I tell her that I can't make it without her and _then_- tell her I have to run because I'm to report to the Arbalest- huh, how Kurz!?"

"That oath of yours is constantly changing, huh?" Kurz winked and continued to roll call.

That's when it hit the ever searching Sergeant. He had answered his own question. Figured everything out.

Now that he had his answer he didn't quite know what to do with it - but he had been searching so long, like a veteran fighting a war he didn't start and didn't understand, he just had to do something. Sousuke turned and ran to her room, slamming open the door without a hint of decorum. Manners were secondary to his cause. The pounding of his heart drown everything else out. The darkness tampered his view, flitted at the edge of his vision.

Chidori was not there.


End file.
